Have you ever given a gift that you secretly wanted for yourself? This common occurrence is not just a simple mistake, but rather a result of psychological factors at play. In this article, we explore the reasons behind gifting habits that lead to giving gifts we want to receive.
Perspective Taking Failures
One of the most significant findings in psychology is that people struggle with perspective taking. Is it not natural for us to put ourselves in someone else’s shows and understand their thoughts and feelings. As a result, we often fail to do so in various settings, including gift giving.
We may see a product, gift card, or something else that appeals to us, and impulsively choose it as a gift for the recipient. However, this often results in choosing gifts that are better suited for ourselves rather than the recipient. Research suggests that pausing and considering the recipient’s perspective before making a gifting decision can lead to better outcomes.
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Projection Bias
Another reason for choosing gifts we want to receive is projection bias. This means that we tend to project our own attitudes and beliefs onto others, assuming they share the same feelings. For example, a person who loves a particle store may choose a gift card to that store for a recipient, assuming that the recipient also loves it. However, this assumption may not be true.
It is important to keep in mind that different people have different preferences, even for stores, hobbies, brands, athletic teams, musicians, etc. that we love.
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“Selfish Reasons”
Lastly, givers may choose gifts that are great for them but not for the recipient when that giver can end up using the gift. In other words, the gift is for the giver, not the recipient. This type of gifting is commonly referred to as “selfish gift giving.”
Examples of this include a husband gifting tickets to a baseball game, a roommate gifting a French press, or a grandchild gifting a box of chocolates. In all of these cases, the giver is consciously opting for a gift that will bring them joy.
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When choosing your next gift, it is crucial to ask yourself whether you are choosing it to make the recipient happy or to make yourself happy.
Happy Gifting!
- The Hugsi Team 🎁
Resources:
Baskin, E., Wakslak, C. J., Trope, Y., & Novemsky, N. (2014). Why feasibility matters more togift receivers than to givers: A construal-level approach to gift giving. Journal of Consumer Research, 41(1), 169-182.
Robbins, J. M., & Krueger, J. I. (2005). Social projection to ingroups and outgroups: A reviewand meta-analysis. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 9(1), 32-47.
Wu, S., & Keysar, B. (2007). The effect of culture on perspective taking. PsychologicalScience, 18(7), 600-606.
Zhang, Y., & Epley, N. (2012). Exaggerated, mispredicted, and misplaced: When “it's thethought that counts” in gift exchanges. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 141(4), 667.